My Christmas tree is not still up. I do not still have Christmas music in my Pandora quick mix.
I did not get hit in the face by the business end of a seatbelt while at work on Wednesday night. No, my coworkers are always level headed and would never just fling heavy metal objects without looking.
I was not told that I would have two black eyes the next morning. I did not find that comment particularly comforting. I am not disappointed in my face’s apparent lack of ability to bruise. I was not looking forward to putting “I have bilateral periorbital ecchymosis” on my Facebook page. I am not that weird…
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